Fear

Since when did I learn how to be afraid

Was it the time I fell down my bike when I was 7

Was it when my mum told me I was “chubby”

Was it when I know that I was hated

by the whole class in fifth grade?

I used to be fearless, I used to not care too much

but I was told to be quiet

I was told to look around, to read the room

if people are smiling, I should smile back

if I love my family, I should not go out to play

I should stay and ask if everyone is okay

So I learned how to care properly

I counted my steps and polished my shoes

I read the whole room before I entered it

I can be nice. I can be sensitive, too.

In the end, I care too much

I care if someone will see me fall

I care if I didn’t call back and say sorry

I care if those strangers will laugh at me

I care (fear) if someone else is unhappy

Forgetting that I was.

t.l.