Tsunami of Words

told me i’m gold

but once the heat went on for too long

you didn’t want to stay

to check if you were wrong.

t.l.

i want a love so pure

so transparent, so simple

but i crave pain and complexity.

i want to be happy

but i’m the one who lives

in a lucid dream

waking up to find myself

already dreaming again.

i want to less sensitive

but a falling leaf

can make me feel delighted

and want to die over again.

i want change

but i can’t seem to leave the pupa

and complete the metamorphosis

it’s too warm in here.

t.l.

a fish that wants to fly

a bird that wants to dive

a living body that wants to expire

why is it normal to laugh together

and cry alone

and not the other way round?

t.l.

sadness,

like a beating heart

everyone is given one

whether you like it or not

some hearts beat aggressively

some go slowly

some stay still

can we still feel sad after death

what is it about sadness that is so irresistible

why do the eye water keeps flowing under bridges

from a pool of sadness to the next?

t.l.

there’s a hole on my tooth

and my tongue always manages to find it

the human body is so good at finding imperfection

like how I always know where to look

for the wrong, the bad, and the ugly

even if all of my other twenty eight teeth are fine

there will always something broken

if there isn’t, it’s time to bite my tongue again.

t.l.

never have I bitten anything with this much damage

than my own flesh

maybe there’s something wrong with me

that’s why i’m so comfortable hiding

behind these pages, imagination

and delusions and scenarios

that never happened, i love

creating them and i’m getting so good

at doing the things that take me far away

from reality, melodies and out of tune keys

if your don’t listen too carefully,

maybe i could fit in as one

maybe i could fake it, gradually

if you don’t listen too carefully.

t.l.

if every key is off

maybe the whole song could be right.

Live and let live

i have that tattoo

as my first, in a language i couldn’t

speak even in my dream

i knew nothing of this world

of how cruel it can be

when i’m the only one

who can make everything happen

all the joy, and misery

as long as i’m in control, i’m good to go

like a switch, i could take me to the moon

and then drop myself down with no warning

i created that world so perfectly

so i don’t have to live in the real one.

t.l.

who are we

but little pieces

of undone eternity?

t.l.

when something dearly is gone forever

all you wish was a little bit of touch

a little bit of sound

a little bit of their sense

they must have left some around

on the floor, at the corner of the bed

at the front door, where they used to rest.

you tried to relive the memories

turn the house upside down

looking for something that once belonged to them

you kept going round and round

in your head, playing that same clip

hoping they would return in the flesh

and rub their tail on your jeans once again.

t.l.

i hope in the next 8 lives,

i get to cross paths with you one last time.

when the light gets too bright

we can see all the ugliness

all the things we didn’t like

we’d rather stay in the dark

fooling ourselves with unnecessary things

searching for eternity

for love from another being

we can’t escape death

so we kept denying,

we’re just a bunch of chemicals

existing for a brief moment

in this vast and unknown universe

when everything becomes nothing at the end

and there’s no exception,

even for the mightiest human.

t.l.

why do we keep doing the meaningless things

by trying to put meanings in everything