save me

my salvation, my muse

my distraction, my woo

how lonely it would be

if you take a peak into my soul?

with you, i’m feeling more alive

dancing around under the moonlight

heartbroken, i’m really good at consolation

depressed, i’m an expert at disguise

sexually assaulted, my body is a bombshell

and my mind is a thousand chameleons.

i can’t take your compliments

i only feed myself self-doubts and disapproval

i’m sorry i can’t get over what they did

what they did in the dark

i will never forget,

and they will never have my mercy.

t.l.

Miu

my cat had excellent way to track time

miraculously, she would call to us at 6:15

ate at 6:30, went back to bed and stayed until noon

in the afternoon, she’s always at another room

and then back to my parent’s room at night

a creature with perfect timing

until she’s late to her food calling

late to morning naps on the usual bed

late to room switching in the afternoon

late to the next day routine

and then the next day.

i never had the chance to say goodbye.

t.l.

free birds

i quit everything to write

but, what is there to write

so that it’s worth quitting on everything?

the more i write, the more self-absorbed i become

my i wants to be an I

the more i read, the more stupid i feel

so ignorant yet so arrogant

i stopped reading books that tell the sad truth

that nothing really matters

and how human’d like to think birds are free

but none of us really is.

t.l.

altered self

if i peeled these skins off

would i get another chance

if i somehow altered myself

would the universe mistaken me

for another being and let me live

again as someone else?

would i still endure the same sadness

the same emptiness, the same hollow ground

inside my lungs where i hide

my suicidal thoughts?

if i didn’t breathe out anxiety

and learn to smile on command,

would anyone notice any difference?

t.l.

sand

i wish i had more time

so i could do nothing

instead of wondering

why we all exist

and no matter how you lived

it’s the same ending for everyone

the cycle of life doesn’t make an exception

and we’re all fleeting through the universe

making little to no impact

isn’t that so scary

to amount to nothing

to be incredibly unimportant

to be a tiny grain of sand

waiting to be swept away

in the next big wave?

t.l.