poetry is like a curse
a trade, a gold necklace
for a good line
a soul for a breakthrough
multiple sleepless nights
and a liter of tears
for a few rhymes.
is it worth it
to live in pain and agony
to constantly drown in the deepest sea
to love in torment but to love with pride
so we could catch a glimpse of the poetic goddess.
a dead flower is more beautiful than it is alive
we mourn and write
while our hands are full of thorn punctures.
t.l.
it’s your fault
why are you so depressed?
if you could choose a happy life
then why did you choose despair?
it’s your fault
always the one that makes no sense
why do you think everything
and everyone will leave in the end?
I’m here aren’t I
are you too blind
I only wanted to the best for you
don’t you want that too?
it’s your fault
making things so serious
why couldn’t you be more gentle
more nice, more happy?
it’s your fault
I just wanted the best for you
why didn’t you think about my feelings too?
stop being yourself and be in my shoes for once
it’s your fault
I only said that coz I love you
so love me the way I want you to
can you do that for me?
listen to me, i’m important
are you here Tammy, come back now
i need you to be happy
so I can be too, finally.
t.l.
wet pillowcases, missing socks
deleted photos appeared out of nowhere
you haven’t skated for a while
do you still remember how to
why do you cry every night
when no one can see
your tears can’t bring her back
once crossed, you can’t turn around.
presents, past and future
her greatest gift was for you
to love yourself more than anything
but she’s no longer the one
you’re crying with.
t.l.
epiphany
comes at the darkest time
hit rock bottom and,
i realized
i had to leave here
even though it was getting familiar.
cold, and out of oxygen
a fish who refuses to swim
i had lived underground for too long
until I forgot my own limbs.
now i have got to go
without you
but i don’t know how to
say goodbye.
t.l.
if you love so easily,
how do i know if
you really did love me
maybe
you were just lonely
and maybe
i don’t really deserve this.
t.l.
i don’t know what i’m doing
either way, i’d be losing
the gold fish kept forgetting
who he was before he can remember
i swam upstream to find out
the Earth is flat
all of those purposes
all of the lies
to keep on going
now it’s a blank page
once again, i’m at zero
becoming less of everything
i don’t know how long
until i couldn’t shrink anymore.
t.l.
i stayed
i will stay
i know how to do it
trust me, i was trained
for it, and for a long time,
i knew what to do
but now, i don’t know
i don’t know anything anymore.
on the verge of losing
it feels suffocating
help, you cried out
help me but,
you already cut both hands
you stopped everything from becoming
only the goodbyes can stay.
t.l.
the worst thing that could happen
is when you were still
planning your goodbye,
they said,
I didn’t really love you.
t.l.
romantic and self-criticized hearts
drained out, but somehow
still holding out
like a starving penguin
waiting for the familiar sound
in a thousand different realities
they would always choose the same
knowing the hurt and the pain
wishing for the lives where
it’s all worth it in the end.
t.l.
i wasn’t happy then
but you were in my life
purring, scratching the bed
i found you at your favourite spot
you found me when i was lost
now that you’re gone
i wish it was me instead.
t.l.
Tsunami of Words 