the wind got colder
the cat shivered
when can i get over her?
the night was still young
the ambulance’s siren
i could go for run
but instead,
i was becoming undone
hallucination, wishful thinking
a pipe dream, vanishing
were you playing
with my hair
or was i only dreaming?
t.l.
we were something
until we aren’t anymore
i asked a friend today
am i strange
to have loved and lost
these people in my life
that nothing stayed
and at the end
i’m alone again.
she said,
it’s better to have loved
and fell out of love
when i could still do
people who have been together
a lifetime could also break apart
isn’t that wasting time instead?
i don’t know. what is worse?
fall in and then out of love
with a hundred souls
or finding the one
but you can’t be with them.
t.l.
the rain came again today
left a lightning stroke on the sky
she never came when you wanted her to
she doesn’t answer to anyone’s prayer
she doesn’t succumb to a rain master
can you hear the sound of her crying
or was she just laughing?
the drops are dancing
on your shoulder as you ran
across the road to find shelter.
unpredictable and care-free
she is all that we need
coming from the sky
and back out into the sea
again and again
giving us life and joy
without asking anything back.
I wanted to be like her
one day.
t.l.
oh, call me
overthinking
oversensitive
overanalyzing
all you want.
I’m so over it
over people telling me
it’s my insecurity
not knowing it’s my beauty
my uniqueness
the ones I treasure
forever.
t.l.
it took me years to love it
don’t you come in and tell me otherwise
it’s like
being queer
has made my life
so accidental
and mystifying.
like Pluto
doesn’t care about
symmetrical orbits
or being labeled
a planet or not.
t.l.
proud to not ever have to conform to social norms
after a relationship
it’s not that they took
a part of me when they leave
but i get to keep a
beautiful essence of them.
t.l.
i learned to be more, to be better, to be beautiful.
blue car, red car
going around in circles
chasing one another
going further down the hill
can you still see my headlights?
the road is getting bumpier
we’re going up again
the air is thin, can you breathe?
take a deep inhale
because the ride down is worse
we’re so used to up and down
we forgot how it was like
to travel down the level road.
t.l.
hear the music
shake the sound
drink the morning sun
feel the breathing rhythms
in between your lungs
you are so beautiful
you are living
this is yours and yours only.
t.l.
to think, that I
wanted to end this life
to think, that I
thought so little of myself
to think, that I
was never able to be mean
to anything but me
now, I feel
so alive
I wanted to keep painting
this unfinished masterpiece
I called life.
t.l.
it is worth living, every second, every minute of every day.
I’m loving the self that I am in the most
she’s the best self I could ever be
she cries, gets mad, and smiles again
she writes at night,
and allows herself to be sad
she doesn’t think about you
she only has herself to work on.
I hope future me will love her too.
t.l.
I love you, Tammy. You’ve still got a lot to learn but I am here with you all the way.
Tsunami of Words 