contradiction

i want a love so pure

so transparent, so simple

but i crave pain and complexity.

i want to be happy

but i’m the one who lives

in a lucid dream

waking up to find myself

already dreaming again.

i want to less sensitive

but a falling leaf

can make me feel delighted

and want to die over again.

i want change

but i can’t seem to leave the pupa

and complete the metamorphosis

it’s too warm in here.

t.l.

a fish that wants to fly

a bird that wants to dive

a living body that wants to expire