happy fucking new year

i feel like my time is near

every year, when the fireworks shot up

across the dark sky and people were cheering

drinking, kissing, wishing, hoping

“New year. New me”

and once again,

i felt like my time is running out.

i felt a deeper misery

a subtle emptiness, a desire to disappear

it’s like i was paying my dues

like the Cinderella always forgot

that her precious moments only lasted

until twelve, and all these fancy clothes

all the love, all the happiness

will start to fade..

so every day,

when the clock strikes midnight

i’ll wake from this dream

and relive it again, being punished

for not letting myself be happy.

t.l.

until I learned how to be happy

I couldn’t escape this reality