Number 5, 1948

you asked,

if i would get sick again

and for a brief second,

i forgot that i’m a broken vase

the one that recovered from almost drowning

i keep myself busy from thinking about dying

but does that mean i’m totally healed?

i kept thinking about what Matt Haig said,

“the best thing about rock bottom is the rock part”

but what if i’m not rock but fragile porcelain

if i couldn’t make it out alive in the end

would you still like me then?

if i collapsed into a thousand pieces

would you still stay here with me?

t.l.

i don’t want to be a disaster today

can i be a beautiful Jackson Pollock’s number 5, 1948?