Catastrophe

i used to sought solace

in the suffering

it’s the only thing that’s real

the only consistence in my life

i breathe it in every night,

and the next morning, trying to feel alive

i prayed that these heartaches

never stop, i looked for them

in the darkest places

i tried to find them in loving you

so it would feel natural, familiar

if there’s no pain, how could i

know what I’m feeling is genuine

if i didn’t love until i crash

if I didn’t rip my skin opened

if there’s no volcano and catastrophe

no hurricane and tsunami

how do i know who’s to hold onto

how do i know what’s left of me,

when there’s no you.

t.l.