Euphoria

I used to enjoy

those sleepless nights

where I could do anything,

wrote a hundred poems

cried myself to sleep

stood in the garden

let the suffering deepens.

I reflected, speculated

dreamed about a future

where I get better

where pain is only subtle

and I’m not suicidal.

Now I don’t enjoy insomnia

any longer,

I don’t want to get stuck

in numbness and euphoria,

I want to get off this roller coaster

I just don’t know how.

t.l.